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Ive been feeling very depressed lately. Last night the family pc computer got fucked up and so this morning i called my parents to let them know that it wasnt my fault and i tried to fix it, but nothing worked. Both seemed fine with it, not too bothered, so when my dad came home to look at it, he just got totally pissed off. After i took my shower i went down to sit on the couch with him and he pretty much goes off on me, bitching about how im never going to get my new car now, how that computer is fucked up and he doesnt even care any more, blah blah. I just looked at him and went to my room where i pretty much cooped up for the rest of the day. I really hate getting yelled at, it brings a lot of horrible memories back, and if anyones known me for quite a while, they would know the reason for my random spurts of depression.

through out the day he would keep yelling at me, sometimes coming into my room and telling me to quit moping and some other shit which i pretty much ignored. I stayed on my bed with lights off, didnt feel like doing much of anything. I havent eaten all day and im still not the least bit hungry. The phone would ring and he would keep screaming at me to get up which i pretty much did. I called my mom to get some sort of comfort and when i hung up with her, my dad would come in and want to know what i told her. I lied and said i asked when she was coming home and he would answer withapos; ohapos; and leave. I did a lot of random crying as well. You know when youre just laying there and then randomly you just start bawling? i dont know if thats happened to anyone else, actually.

weapos;ve ignored each other for the whole day and i dont plan on talking to him at all. Him and my mom are angry at each other as well, she asked him to pass the remote and he retorted back with some stupid remark. Its rude, considering she just went to the store to get him something he asked for and heapos;s being a real dick about it.

its times like these when i really think back to what had happened in va beach, it wasnapos;t THAT bad, this little emo thing wasnapos;t as serious as it was in the past, but itapos;s definitely something my mom keeps wanting me to go to see a doctor for. Personally i dont want to, but i think the idea of talking to someone about my emotions would help because i cant explain them to my parents, another thing the pair of them get angry about.

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You remember how we met,
Silhouetted by the lights.
You were drunk and tried to take a mental picture with your hands.

I was thinking about that,
And a bunch of other things.
Stop looking at the floor,
I need to pour out this expansive dose of words.

I canapos;t explain.
I need to be...alone.

I know the timing isnapos;t great.
These things you just canapos;t plan.
I just need a little time so I can find myself again.

apos;Cause I get buried underneath,
All the things they think you are,
And Iapos;m too tired to pretend it doesnapos;t hurt to be left out.

I had a pocket full of dreams,
But I gave them all to you.
Now I think I want apos;em back.
So can you tell me if Iapos;m crazy or confused?
Donapos;t ever change,
The way you are.

~Motion City Soundtrack
Iapos;ve never loved anyone more.

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I donapos;t know if I ever expected to do this, but Iapos;ve got to say that Michael Mooreapos;s latest book, Mikeapos;s Election Guide 2008, is actually reasonable. There are the moments of extremist rhetoric, but theyapos;re fairly sparse, and I donapos;t see where he actually stretched the truth like he usually does. Itapos;s a liberal book, obviously so, wanting to get Obama elected as well as taking a bunch of seats from senators and congressfolk of the red persuasion. Iapos;m not saying I agree 100, I donapos;t, but I like the "this is what we should do" direction instead of the "I must attack with lies and innuendo" direction he usually takes.

The one thing I was less than enthused about in his book was the idea that the liberal republican has to go because heapos;s in the wrong party. That works completely against what the election is really about: liberal/conservative, not democrat/republican.

I think the democrats have this one, and Iapos;m not even close to wailing and gnashing my teeth about that. I keep thinking that if I was like many of my more liberal friends, Iapos;d have to threaten to move to Canada to be safe for the next 4 (or 8) years, but Iapos;m not like that. I donapos;t think Obama is necessarily the wrong (or right) choice. Looking at the issues, I think each has good parts of their platforms, but I think Obamaapos;s got an edge overall.

Iapos;ll state this again, before anyone gets me wrong: Iapos;m moderate. Iapos;m centrist. I am not for the republicansapos; stance, but I donapos;t trust the democrats to do much better. If anything, Iapos;m one of those people who believe we could fire most of them, replace them with the first several dozen in the phone book, and a better job would be done. I think a third party might be necessary, one that isnapos;t corrupt to the core the way both parties are now.

I have friends, very intelligent and thoughtful friends, on both sides of the issue. I listen to both sides. I read both sides. Maybe thatapos;s why Iapos;m in the middle, but I like being educated to both sides.

Is McCain corrupt? Probably. Is Obama? Not so much, but heapos;s more idealistic, which is also dangerous. I suspect that most politicians are at least a little corrupt, considering how little money there is in it compared to how much money they spend to get elected. Who would put up with the grief for that level of paycheck unless there was a payoff somewhere?

However, Iapos;m amused by the allegation that Obamaapos;s from Chicago, so heapos;s got to be corrupt. Thatapos;s faulty logic, but it floats like a duck for many average voters.

Will Obama win Ohio? Probably. As my wife points out, there are too many people worried about the stateapos;s worse-than-the-country economy and the major loss of jobs to feel secure enough to vote republican. The sparse counties will probably vote red, but the cities are going to vote blue because theyapos;re worried about the economy and jobs and health care and the rest of it. When I talk to my students (in a relatively conservative college), for example, the ones in Dayton are mostly Obama and the ones in Troy arenapos;t. McCainapos;s going to get the small-town vote, but that canapos;t carry the state.

Palin is worth a mention in all this, right? Sheapos;s a good speaker and a good sport (just ask Tina Fey). Sheapos;s connected to republican voters in some ways, and yes, sheapos;s a feminist, just not the kind weapos;re used to. Sheapos;s a strong woman in office who does well for herself. She should be respected as such, even if you disagree with her politically (and thereapos;s a lot to disagree with). Her conservative streak is extreme in many dangerous ways, and as an English teacher, I am most bothered by the (unconfirmed by any real story) allegations of censoring books in Alaska. She may be running for VP, but McCain is old, and in the next few months to years, she could easily end up running the country. Politically, I think thatapos;s a big mistake. But as a woman, sheapos;s done well.

Who will I vote for? Thereapos;s still time to change my mind, but I donapos;t foresee changing it. Iapos;m a swing-state voter with a strong Obama lean at this point.
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Fair ladies and good gentlemen, I invite you to an organizational meeting for all interested parties for the inauguration of the Cowford Florida Steampunk Society.

I ahve published this in the NEFL�Steampunk group, but would like to share this with gentlefolk of all parts.

�

I apologize in advance for taking the liberty to set the time and place, but alas too much discussion leads to too much dissention. I fear that it is a universal maxim that you can not accommodate everyone, but please know that I did the best I could to accommodate the most people. �

�

Mark your calendars and set your mechano-cartographer into action for Saturday, November 8^th, 2008 at the Pablo Creek Library, 13295 Beach Blvd Jacksonville (904-992-7101). Time of the room reservation is from Noon lsquo;til 2:00 pm.

�

For this event, regalia is not a necessity, personas are not required, and there is no parking for airships. Bring your garb, your props, and your pictures of your work if you desire. Bring your writings, your sketches, but most of all bring your geek and constructive ideas to build upon this foundation.

�

While not being a fan of tight formats, yet being versed in Roberts Rules of Order I have set a loose agenda for the meeting in order to maximize the time we have.

�

-Call to Order

-Introductions

-Discussion on the group format.

-Discussion of future events.

-Show and tell, lecture, workshop, what have you.

-Close.

-Possibly retreat to an establishment for a meal or tea.

�

I feel this should cover every thing for our first meeting, and future topics can be fleshed out in subsequent gatherings.

�

For any comments or queries please contact me at ti_010@yahoo.com

�

My best,

�

Vice-Admiral Rudolph Beggley

�

A.K.A. Buzz Ryan

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